It shouldn't take this much effort just to exist
(and you can stop fixing, pretending, hiding, shrinking or sleeping your way through life)
You’re the “reliable one”, the “good one.”
Responsible. Thoughtful. Capable. And somehow… still feeling a bit condemned.
You…
· Succeed but feel like an imposter.
· Are a dreamer, yet find yourself sitting still.
· Love deeply, but often feel like a lonely caretaker.
· Crave connection, then find yourself isolating.
· Are careful and considerate when it seems no one else is.
· You’re running on a script of "shoulds"—
without recognition or relief.
And you are just so exhausted.
The Load-Bearing Wall
The people who find their way to my practice are often the load-bearing walls of their own lives.
You don’t fix things because you’re trying to be a martyr; you fix them because you feel like you have to. There is a moral pressure inside you, a sense of debt that never quite hits zero.
Somewhere along the way, you were assigned a Role. The steady one. The good one. The one who has it handled.
And while you were busy being those things, parts of your Soul were told to wait.
When the Cracks Show
Eventually, that tension starts to leak out. It usually looks like:
Anxiety and Social Anxiety
Guilt
Loneliness
Irritability
Sleep problems
Identity confusion
Trouble with “adulting”
Feeling Stuck
On the outside, you’re competent. On the inside, it feels like a monumental effort just to be.
Working Together
I work with the fixers, the caretakers, and the thoughtful watchers, but also with the dreamers and the adventurers who have felt they had to stay restrained. I work with people who are tired of being permanently “on duty.”
I’m not here to "fix" you, and I won’t wince at the parts of you that you’re afraid are "too much" or "not enough."
I will be your compassionate container and challenger. The goal isn't to tear down who you are; it’s to help you relax the defenses that have kept you trapped in self-defeating patterns and to manage the fear to look into the dark places.
We’ll work toward a life where you can:
Align your values with the life you actually want to live.
Make room for the "messier" emotions: anger, desire, and grief.
Loosen the grip of "should."
Exist without feeling like you’re putting on a moral performance.
You don't need a different life waiting in the wings. You just need a life that actually includes you in it.
You Don’t Have to Disappear to Be Good
You have spent your life being careful, considerate, and competent. You don’t have to stop being those things. You just don't have to disappear to maintain them.
It shouldn’t take this much effort just to exist.
If this sounds like your life, let’s talk, because it shouldn’t take this much effort just to exist.
docgomtherapy@gmail.com